Rainy Day Woman

Rainy days, over and over and over, and it is technically not even winter, shit! I need a rain coat or two, perhaps some cute rain boots and a good warm snugly hat. I was a tard bucket and left my beanies at home, I didn't know it would be this cold. I also need business clothes... I am so alone here. I can make friends, but I want a best friend, now! Good things come to those who wait. I just feel so alone. I have friends online, and friends on the phone, but I need physical reassurance, physical support. I have such an open heart and I can be so gullible, I don't want to get hurt, or let down. I don't want to be pushy or weird either. I hope I can make a good friend soon. Hopefully once I move to Oly things will change. It's hard to make friends when I'm 80 miles from where my life is going to start. I am finally sleeping better, thanks to ibuprofen. I want to relax in my own bed, in my own house, with my music playing and my things around me. I need a laptop asap.
I am worried about my sister. No one in the family can get a hold of her, her mom or boyfriend. Not Grandma, not dad, not my mom or brother. What the fuck is going on. It's been weeks since any of us could get a hold of her, but why can't we reach those around her either. Did I do something, say something? Is she dead? Why can't I get an answer. She's so addicted, so depressed, so lost and lonely. I hope she is ok, this is making me sad though...
Today I am going to Camas to visit Stacia, Mick, Hayden and Kenna. I have not seen them in a long time, I am excited to see how big the girls have gotten. I want to go to the beach, the Washington beaches seem rough and edgy, I want to go! Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week. Camas is the opposite direction of the beach, crap.
I am trying to get home soon to pick up more stuff and see my brother before he leaves for Asia. I am so excited for him. I hope he comes home with an Asian girlfriend, it would be classic. I love him and miss him a lot, I hope he has a safe trip.
Well I need to get packing and pay my car bill. Till next time, tah tah pip pip!

My newest Adventure starts NOW

I'm here. I did it. I made the move. I've committed to a new life, a new town, new school, and new friends. I am currently residing in Woodland. It's about 20 minutes north of Portland. It's a small town, lots of country and old folks. Nothing to do but stare out the window into the rain. There are a few good restaurants but besides that and a skatepark there is nothing to do. I wont be here for much longer just a few weeks, even less. The real excitement will start once I am in Olympia... speaking of which...

I found a place! It's as cute as a button and extremely affordable. It's also right downtown which is always a plus. I will have 2 roommates, Rachel and  Calvin. Both 20, Evergreen students, really into music and making music. I really liked their vibe and we got along right off the bat. We might possibly find another to live in the attic but I am not sure yet. I didn't get to see the inside but from what I saw through the window it's a sick pad. Hardwood floors, white Spanish style walls and ceilings with a big common room. Dishwasher and washer/dryer on site. And the sweetest part of the house, the garage, which will be strictly for music creations and equipment (so stoked).  Rent is crazy cheap compared to Ventura. I am so ecstatic to move in and start on my room. The place is a lot bigger then it looks in the picture... I wonder what room I'll get. Haha I wont have much to put in it, not even a bed, but once we move in I'll start collecting things from garage sales and thrift stores. I can't wait to get my art stuff moved up here, I miss creating creations of craziness. I also need to learn how to knit, so I can start on making socks and jackets for winter. Crocheting is fun but limited. Speaking of which I did bring my needles...
One more trip to California. I have a bunch of miscellaneous items I need to bring back up, hangers, pictures, art stuff, sewing stuff, beach and boarding stuff, lamp, and bedding. I might be sleeping on an air mattress for awhile until I find a cheap or free bed. Wow imagining my own good sized room, with walking space and high ceilings sounds blissful.  It blows it will be missing my boy. Thinking of spending the summer without him puts a frown on my face. Three and a half years of having your best friend live 10 minutes away, now to 1000 miles away, the thought leaves me depressed. It's such an exciting happy time in my life, and he can't be here. From our conversations on the phones it seems like it will be so long before he'll make it up here. Yeah maybe a visit or two over the next 6 months, but I think the thought of him moving up here for a long time is sour to him. I came up here for different reasons then the reasons he would come up here.  And that changes a lot and makes it seem forced. I don't want him to be unhappy without me but I don't want him to be unhappy with me, that would be worse! I love his heart, and his eyes, his goofy laugh and sexy guitar riffs. I love his freckles and his voice. I love him more then I've loved anyone and trust him more then I've ever trusted anyone. Why the universe has pulled us physically so far apart... we wont know until the seasons have passed and our wisdom has grown. It all happens for a reason and I am a firm believer in fate. Fate and faith. I have faith we will one day be happily together again. I have faith in myself to be strong and pull through when times get tough. I have faith that the world has a plan for me. And this is my path... and you never know what tomorrow may bring.